So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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