Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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