you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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