Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
