Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
