I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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