Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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