on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize