If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I AM VODKA MAN
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
