Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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