There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize