whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize