idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
