on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
