I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
should my penis look like a turkey
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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