I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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