I haven't been this sober since birth.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
