At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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