I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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