The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
