I wish I could punch you in the face.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
