I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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