I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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