I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
