i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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