Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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