u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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