After last night, I could never be a politician.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
