is wine microwaveable?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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