Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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