Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
