as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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