margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Randomize
