Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
