she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
do herpes really smell.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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