i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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