He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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