Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
