haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
