she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize
