...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You've changed since you got that strap on
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
