Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
What a dumb baby whore.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
God, I missed his penis.
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