Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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