he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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