Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
