Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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