my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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