Where did you get a picture of my penis
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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