I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
