You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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