Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
