This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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