She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
