Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
