I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
