totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
