so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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