I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
