Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
