three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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