Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
