No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
