your thong is hanging out like whoa
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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