Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize