This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
