he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
