I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
