epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize