Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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