There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
