if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
