I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
