I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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