you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
