I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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