the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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