Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
